How Can I Tactfully Tell My Boyfriend He Needs to Lose Weight?

Dear Andreus,

I have never been superficial, or one to be hung up on having or seeking the perfect body.  However, my boyfriend over the last couple of years has put on a significant amount of weight.  He is bordering obesity, and it is a bit of a physical turn off. I must admit it is affecting our sex life, and I have indirectly said things to him about his excessive eating habits.  I love him dearly, but I am at my wits end. How can I get him to see what his eating is doing to us?

Sincerely,

Struggling To Stay

Dear Struggling To Stay,

Stop and take a breath.  Your relationship can be saved.  This often happens in relationships, and is either a sign of happiness and comfort, or a sign of stress.  Be honest with him, but don’t attack him with your concerns. No one likes to be called fat or obese, or reminded that they don’t look like the man you met in the beginning.  What you can do though, is actively help him. Go walking together or jogging together every day. Go to the gym together. Engage in activities together, which is not only a healthy choice for you both but might encourage him to lose weight because he has positive reinforcement.  Placing blame never gets anyone to change, so be his motivation. Also if you have any input into the food that comes into your home or if you cook, look for healthier options, and lay out portioned meal times. Things will get better!

Dear Andreus,

I have fallen in love with my best friend’s ex-boyfriend.  They dated over 10 years ago, and we became friends while they were together. I never intended for it to happen, but we have the same social circles, and the more we bumped into each other, the more we connected.  Although he is my best friend’s ex, it has been 10 years. Should it matter if we date? I don’t want to lose my best friend over this. How do I handle this?

Sincerely,

Fallen Friend

Dear Fallen Friend,

Wow! This is not an easy situation at all.  Love is one of those things that of course is hard to deny when it comes, at the same time, true friendship is priceless.  The very first thing that you need to do is talk to your best friend. Be completely honest and transparent. The fact that your best friend had a relationship or some type of romantic or emotional involvement with the person, means that out of respect and decency, you owe your friend honesty.  There is no way to tell how is going to take it. Figure out if you are going to be able to pursue a relationship without it jeopardizing your friendship, and how important each of these are versus the other. Only you can decide. If need be, the three of you might need to sit and talk so that some type of balance can be created.  All I can say, is good luck.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/12/31/how-can-i-tactfully-tell-my-boyfriend-he-needs-to-lose-weight/