Bad Romance

Dear Andreus,

I met this guy online on one of the dating sites. I was living in Seattle, and honestly wanted a change of scenery. For months we were talking, and really hit it off. He asked me to move to Fort Lauderdale to be with him, in hopes of having something really amazing. I packed up my things and came down. Everything started out great, and now he tells me that he feels as if things were rushed, and that I should start looking for a place. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Lost in South Florida

Dear Lost in South Florida,

Okay, let’s get to the point here. First, WHY?? Why would you move to South Florida to be with someone that you had never met in person? Not only did you move, but you moved clear across the country. C’mon, I am sure you have to admit that was a bit juvenile. I completely agree with him for feeling as if things were rushed. I am sure that he asked you to come here because of the feelings you may have developed through your long-distance communication. Going from talking online, to moving is a MAJOR step. You cannot fault him for this. Put on your big boy pants, take responsibility, and move on. Decide whether you want to stay here or go. If so, secure a job, find yourself a place, and get out there. Meet people and focus on yourself. And please, the next time this happens, don’t make any sudden moves!

Dear Andreus,

I have the worst taste in men, or should I say bad luck. Every time I invest in someone it doesn’t work. I am so tired of trying. I meet these beautiful guys, and they always suck the life out of me. They want money, or a place to live, or drugs or something else. I don’t know what to do. I am starting to feel like there is something wrong with me. Why can’t I get it right? I want to have a relationship so badly. Where is my happily ever after.

Sincerely,

Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,

Let’s start at the beginning. First of all, desperation is not attractive. We can sometimes project that without even realizing it. Maybe you wanting to have a relationship so badly shows, and is causing you to attract the wrong people. You must look within to find out what your insecurities are, and address them. Next, it seems as if you are attracting needy people, which means that your behavior is showing something that attracts that type of person. You want a relationship, so you entertain them, while they get what they want. This is what we call “co-dependent behavior.” Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world, and you can still have your “happily ever after.” Get to know yourself first, work on your flaws and your strengths. When you are out there meeting people, be confident. Be brave, be bold and don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. It is up to you to set the standard. You are not Goodwill or Salvation Army. Stop giving so much, unless it is reciprocated. The only exception is if you are going to claim them as a dependent on your taxes!!

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/10/04/bad-romance/