Co-Worker Flirting / Honesty is the Best Policy

Dear Andreus,

So, there’s a guy at my job that I really like.  He flirts with me all the time, and I admit that I flirt back.  I have been told that it is not a good idea to date people that you work with, but I want to ask him out.  I have been trying to avoid it, but every time we work together, the tension just gets stronger. I really don’t know how to handle this, because it is starting to affect my ability to focus at work.  Please help!

Sincerely,

In A Daze

Dear In A Daze,

We all know that there is that rule about dating people at work.  You know that possibility that if something goes wrong, it would make things very uncomfortable at work.  The only want to really address this situation is to talk to each other, and figure out what your options are.  Maybe one of you can move to another department or another location so that you can see each other. With every new love interests comes risk, because you have to put yourself out there not knowing what the outcome is.  Just be sure of what you’re doing, because if you open that door and the shit hits the fan, you have nowhere to run. What’s more important to you? Your job, or this guy? Think about it.

Dear Andreus,

Recently my boyfriend and I decided to have Sunday Funday on the drive.  He told me that he wanted me to meet some of his friends. When the time came, about 5 of his friends showed up, and as he went around the circle to give introductions, I realized that one of them used to be a fuckbuddy.  I was completely unaware that they knew each other, and of course I was totally uncomfortable. I tried to act as normal as I could, having equal conversation with everybody, but it was unsettling. Should I tell him about it, or just leave it be?  

Sincerely,

Scared Shitless

Dear Scared Shitless,

Honesty is the best policy.  I have been there before, and can totally relate.  Amongst our community, these things are bound to happen.  There is literally one degrees of separation between every gay man.   Go to him, and tell him the truth. It might be hard, and he might even be upset, but it is better that he hear it from you, then from his friend or someone else.  If he gets that type of information from someone besides you, it will most likely cause trust issues. It also shows integrity and transparency on your part. The longer you wait, you open yourself up to the possibility of another social encounter, and you know when people drink, there filter drops.  You don’t want that getting blurted out in public. Get to it!!

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/11/08/co-worker-flirting-honesty-is-the-best-policy/