Stuck in the Middle

Dear Andreus,

My boyfriend’s best friend came to visit us from New York recently.  The two of them are inseparable and my boyfriend talks about him all the time.  They are literally family. While his best friend was here, a gold Rolex of mine went missing.  I know that his best friend took it, because I saw it under a heap of clothes he was putting into his suitcase when he was leaving. I am afraid that if I tell my boyfriend, he is not going to believe, and think that I am trying to cause problems by calling his best friend a thief.   I don’t want to cause problems, but I feel like I need to address this situation, because he is planning to visit again. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Stuck In The Middle

Dear Stuck In The Middle,

I completely understand your concern about how your ratting him out might be perceived.  There are three choices here. You can say something to your boyfriend and hope that he will take it the right way and act accordingly.   You can talk to his best friend yourself, letting him know that you know, and telling him to give the watch back so you don’t say anything to your boyfriend about the incident.  Or you could just decide that it is best to not allow him to stay with you guys any longer. If him not being able to visit becomes an issue, then that may be the opportunity to address the situation. These things are very delicate, so hand this situation with much care.  We tend to only like to see the good in people that we love and care about. If your boyfriend loves you, he may not like the allegations at first, but will handle the situation justly.

 

Dear Andreus,

The holidays are close, and as much as I love the season, I also dread it.  My partner’s parents always come for a couple weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  My partner and I were childhood friends, and somehow, his parents blame me for him being gay.  His mother has even gone far enough to say that if we would have never met, he would be with a nice girl giving her children. I hate feeling uncomfortable in my home, but they are his parents.  How do I deal with them knowing that they don’t like me?

Sincerely,

Missile Toe

Dear Missile Toe,

First things first.  You should never be uncomfortable in your own home.  That is supposed to be your happy place, and your place of absolute peace.  If they cannot accept that their son is gay, that is not your problem. Clearly you did not make him that way, no more than an orange can make apple juice.  Secondly, how they feel about you is not important. How your partner feels about you is. Lastly, maybe you need to discuss this with your partner and come to some type of resolution.  They don’t have to like you, but they do have to respect you within your space. Otherwise, there are plenty of local hotels with great food and accommodations on the holidays!

Sincerely,

Andreus

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/11/14/stuck-in-the-middle/