Is it Too Soon to Start Dating?

Dear Andreus,
I lost my partner to cancer about a year ago. It’s safe to say that I have been incredibly lonely since, especially after 10 years together. I am in my mid 40’s now, and my friends are telling me that I deserve to get back out there. I don’t even know where to begin. Is it too soon? Should I be downloading Grindr? Please help!
Sincerely,

Ready Again

Dear Ready Again,

Losing a partner is difficult, especially if there was true love. I can relate, as it has happened to me twice. Getting back into the dating arena is a frightening thing, especially since we have moved away from the charm of old-fashioned, face to face meetings. Grindr and a lot of other apps and websites have taken away the flirting and pursuit of earlier times and replaced it with instant gratification. Finding a date rather than a hookup, is hit or miss. However, don’t be afraid to get back out there. There are always the bars, but there are other ways to meet someone. Community events, involvement in activities at places such as The Pride Center, and a few dating sites (not hookup sites). Take baby steps, see what’s out there, socialize and remind yourself that you are still alive, and your partner would want you to be happy.

Dear Andreus,

I have been on a series of dates over the last year. Probably with at least 20 different guys. It always starts out great, but never seems to turn into anything. We talk on Grindr, then meet up. Usually it starts out with fun, and I am always hoping that it will turn into something more, but it doesn’t. Am I doing something wrong? I would love to find someone and start something real.
Sincerely,

LookingForLove

Dear LookingForLove,

Seems like you might be looking for love in all the wrong places…no pun intended. But seriously, you cannot rely on Grindr to find Prince Charming or your happily ever after. This is not to say that it doesn’t happen, but we all know what most people are there for. If you want to find something real, start by going to places where your type of guy is. Ask yourself a series of questions – What kind of guy do I want to date? Where would I find him? Also, be upfront. If a relationship is what you are looking for, make your intentions known from the start. That way you don’t build up expectations, and end up getting let down when you later find out that you and the person you are talking to are not on the same page. It will save you time, spare your emotions, and a bunch of one-nighters.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/12/24/is-it-too-soon-to-start-dating/